


the road to hell

by ImperialEvolution



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Eliza Rickman is a Goddess and I love her, Grief/Mourning, I'm not over Alana and neither is Daniel, M/M, POV Second Person, Past Relationship(s), Second Person, This is super self-indulgent, but it's 11:28am, let me have this, so jot that down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialEvolution/pseuds/ImperialEvolution
Summary: They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but you were never good, and the intentions were never yours.





	the road to hell

**Author's Note:**

> The quote is taken from Eliza Rickman's Now and Then, which is a beautiful song and deserves all the love I can give. Please listen to it while reading.

**i.** ‘Cos if the road to hell is paved with our intentions

 _Our, as if you and He were together. As if you and He were on the same page._ Our _intentions. God, you never knew what his intentions were, did you, Daniel? Hell, you didn't even know Him half the time. (He always said there was no one to know, but you disagreed. You couldn't love a no one)._

_Your intentions had nothing to do with aliens and conspiracies and mind control. Your intentions were to go up there and do your job, follow orders, hang off His every word, and keep Her safe._

_Yeah, well. Look how well that went._

**ii.**  Well it’s a fine, fine, fine way to love 

_There was a time, you know, you remember, when you loved Him. And maybe you still do. Because don’t you still wake up, cold and shaking, and looking for His warmth?_

_But you loved Him then. And you think maybe, maybe, there was a time when He loved you. Maybe. In His way. Because really, everything you ever did was His way. All His.  
_

_You used to be proud when he called you that. You used to stick the L-word to what you had, prayed that that word would act as adhesive to the cracks and the chips in what you both knew was broken._

**iii.** But if the hand you deal is hidden in your back pocket

_Then She was dead. And that was so fucking wrong that your entire world turned, She was supposed to outlive you both, and She was supposed to do amazing things. She was a God, weaving magic with deft fingertaps and worming Her way into your cold, black heart that you’d thought was only room for one._

_Then She was dead, and he was dead and she was dead, and He was so alive, so fucking alive, a warm and steady presence that made you want to throw up because She was dead and how was She dead when He held the cards?  
_

_And then she came back. She didn’t come back, but lovelace did. And He grinned, like the fucking Cheshire, grinned because everything was under His control_ , _because He had an ace up His sleeve the entire time.  
_

_And you stared at Her body bag for the longest time, ~~hoping~~ ~~wishing~~ ~~praying~~ begging for Her to gasp awake and come back to you._  

 **iv.** Don’t you dare, dare, dare come around

_You were so angry, Daniel. You remember that, don’t you? Don’t you remember that seething, burning, fiery hatred that consumed your waking days because He knew something you didn’t, because He didn’t tell you—either of you—and oh, Her death was His fault._

_You don’t remember, do you, Daniel? You can’t forget it, but you don’t_ remember _it. Because you still look for Him in a crowd, still see that whiskey He loved so much, still want to say His name when you bring another man home, because he isn’t Him, and no one can ever be Him.  
_

_Because He was a God. For all intents and purposes, He was a God. Unshakeable and unbending and unflinching.  
_

_She and Him were all you had, and now you have nothing. And you miss Them, more than you ever thought possible, Daniel.  
_

_Because Alana Maxwell and Warren Kepler were worth more than the world to you, weren’t they, Daniel?  
_

_Weren’t they Gods? Weren’t they everything?  
_

**Author's Note:**

> Cry over Wolf 359 instead of going to sleep with me @imperial-evolution on Tumblr.


End file.
